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A Comparable Helper.

Just recently in our country women came together from all over and had the Women’s March on Washington. Thousands of women came together because they wanted their message to be heard. To quote their website ( “We stand together in solidarity with our partners and children for the protection of our rights, our safety, our health and our families- recognizing that our vibrant and diverse communities are the strength of our country.” As a woman, with a daughter, when I heard and saw the marches throughout that day it gave me something to think about. How do I expect and want to be treated as a woman? How do I want to act as a woman? And probably more importantly to me is how do I show my daughter what being a woman is all about? As I contemplated these things, I realized I needed to go to the ultimate source. The Bible. What does my Bible sitting there on my dining room table tell me about being a woman?

I started at the very beginning. And very quickly God was showing me much. Genesis 2:18 says “And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” And Genesis 2: 23 “and Adam said “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; She shall be called woman because she was taken out of man.” There are two words specifically that stand out to me from Genesis 2:18 that I want to discuss.

The first word that really stuck out to me is helper. This is a hard word for modern women and ideas. We are constantly told to aim for the top and that we can shatter glass ceilings. But I think it takes just as much strength, if not more, to be helper to someone. To give someone strength and encouragement, wisdom and guidance. And what is amazing is that when I look at my own life ,when I take on the role of helper is when I have had some of the most fulfilling moments of my life.

I have been a helper as a wife, mother and friend. The very definition of a mother should include the word helper. And I think being a helper to a friend is one of the best qualities a friendship can have. But I want to talk about a specific area that I have been a helper to my husband and the fulfillment I have received through it. My husband helps lead worship in our church. This is a big commitment of 3 services a week and a weekly band practice. He arrives to church normally 1.5-2 hours early each service. I am going to be honest there are times we can both become frustrated by this and consider having him step down. We start to covet our time and selfishly not want to give so much of it to the ministry. But I have found that as his helper, if I am praying and keeping my attitude positive, it impacts his attitude in a mighty way. And it is in those times of feeling low that God will move during a worship service and we both come away knowing God has placed him there. The fulfillment I get standing in that congregation, watching God use my husband is unexplainable. But this role of helper is not the flashy role. I am not up on stage singing in front of 400 people. No one is even thinking about the role, I as the wife, am to the band and church worship. But Jesus sees the helper. And he encourages us to do things in our secret place. He tells us in Matthew 6:18 “so that you do not appear to men to be fasting, but to your Father who is in the secret place; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly.”

The second word from Genesis 2:18 that stood out to me was the word comparable. As a woman in this age I am always being told I am the same as a man. We have fallen so deep for the world’s lies. Thousands of women marched because they want to be equal to men. But we are not the same, comparable yes, but not the same. And this is ok. We are created by a wonderful Creator. And when we live by how we were designed that’s when we feel fulfilled. I want my daughter to know why God created her and live for that purpose. I am so privileged to grow up in a country that gave me the freedom to follow my dreams and live the life I imagined. I went to college and got a bachelor of science. I followed that with a dream job. I got married to a wonderful man and had a beautiful daughter with him. I live in a country where I have the exact same rights as men. I have been to third world countries and I have seen firsthand women who do not have these same rights. So I am forever thankful to be a woman in the United States of America. But all these life experiences makes me more thankful I am comparable to a man. Not equal. Can you imagine a world where women and men were truly the same? Where none of the amazing attributes God gave woman existed? I can say with my whole heart I do not want to live in that world.

My prayer for the women of this country is that God can stir in each of us. When we feel bombarded with ideas and questions, we have the strength and wisdom to turn to our Bibles and see what God says. I didn’t get any further then the second chapter of the first book and God showed me so much. I Chronicles 16:11 “Seek the Lord and His strength; Seek His face continually.”

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